Littering is considered a Class 2 petty offense in these parts. It is petty, and it is offensive. I just don’t know how it can be enforced unless the tossing of trash is witnessed and the enforcement deems it so petty and offensive as to warrant an intervention. Given the amount of litter I encounter on a daily basis, this little area of the law is obviously not a priority.
I will admit. I have a pretty piss poor attitude when it comes to rules. I get why rules exist, but if there are no consequences then there is no reason to have the rule. My life has been awash in scenarios where the threat was made to follow, and my question is always, “or what”? If I am met with confusion or stuttering I tend to know I can patently ignore the rule.
I am already subject to municipal codes, county ordinances, state laws, and the fed. Then there are online terms and conditions, and another layer of internet conduct parameters. Not to mention businesses posting signs on their property about smoking or skateboarding or loitering. Couple all of this with societal norms, cultural taboos, and all manner of “suggestions” and pretty much everything has been laid out in terms of proper and improper behavior.
It’s petty.
Also offensive.
On top of all this my employer, as most employers do, has an entire handbook dictating how I should and should not behave. Granted I am not actively looking for loopholes to be a creepy piece of shit, but it’s just another layer of pressure to hide myself behind a facade in order to keep from starving to death.
Perhaps it isn’t that drastic, but most of my waking life is spent playing a game where the rules keep changing. It seems like every year there is some new bullshit floating through the culture telling me what words are okay to use, what jokes are appropriate to laugh at, what ideas to contemplate, and what politricks I should support.
Luckily I am no longer in school. Talk about rules upon rules upon rules.
Don’t even get me started on how weird shit got during the pandemic.
Maybe I am getting old, but I am honestly not looking to add even more restrictions to my already Orwellian existence, so I tend to ignore a lot of rules. Most the time, if I find myself on the wrong side of a control mechanism, the worst thing that can happen is a verbal finger wag. Most of the time no one cares enough to make a stink about it.
Of course there are those who get absolutely wrecked when they see someone breaking the rules. I get it. Some people get lost without structure. Some people were raised with such deep discipline they can’t think for themselves. Stepping outside the rigidity is panic inducing. Why should that other person get to break the rules?!?
The internet named these people, and the majority finds them tiresome. This is because most people are rule breakers. They don’t necessarily have criminal intent. I don’t think they are evil. I don’t think they do it simply to flaunt authority. I think we all encounter rules that are dumb, and trying to constantly color inside the lines is impossible.
Riddle me this. If you are on a desolate road at 3am and there are no cars and the stoplight hasn’t changed for five minutes, are you running the light or are you sitting there forever until the light changes? I want to see a video of Karen sitting there for hours because rules are rules.
Me? Fuck that light.
I got shit to do.
Recently I was at my daughters graduation. The ceremony was being held on a college campus in a building that was on a city street. I had dipped out early to have a smoke and beat the crowd. I was standing on the sidewalk, 30 yards from the entrance, nobody around, just chillin. Then some twat comes out and starts lecturing me about how this is a tobacco free campus and I would have to go down the street if I wanted to smoke.
Her tone was not friendly. Her posture was not kind. Her overall aura was power hungry insecure asshole so instantly my fuck you muscle started to tighten.
Look bitch. Call the cops. The roads are public. The sidewalks are public. They are not part of the campus so fuck off. There is no one out here being distressed. I am not some student you can flex on because you have nothing goin on in your life to keep you from being a miserable fuckwit. Eat shit you sad little cunt.
Luckily I am a grown man and didn’t say these things. I didn’t say anything. I turned my back to her and sauntered into the street. She didn’t chase me down or make sure I put my cigarette out until I was in her supposed tobacco safe zone. She shut the fuck up and went back to her miserable existence.
I know it can be fun to fuck with people, but the best thing you can is ignore them. They are energy vampires who lie awake at night having imaginary arguments so they can feel what is like to win. Denying them a conversation is the worst outcome they can imagine, so look right through them and act like they don’t even exist.
If they get physical, hopefully someone collects video for the lawsuit.
I must say though, I am not perfect. I did lose my cool one time with a bank teller, but engaging in conversation was a necessary part of the interaction. Now, I hate banks from the jump. Parasites. In this case, of the thousands of reasons to abhor banking and banks, I was getting flogged with “policy”. Policies are rules that can be broken at the discretion of basically anyone if they feel like it.
This makes them irrelevant on their face.
I was given a personal check by someone who owed me money. Historically speaking, whatever bank issued the check will honor the check, so instead of driving across town to my bank, I went into the bank written on the check.
“Do you have an account?”
No. Why would I need an account? I didn’t write the check. If there is a problem with funds, that is between you and the account holder. This bank issued the check so in essence you allowed this guy to make a promise in your name and I am here to collect.
“You need an account for us to cash a check. It’s policy.”
I don’t think you are understanding how this particular financial instrument works. This bank issued the check. Your customer filled out the check to me making this a promise to pay me from this bank. You can look at his account and verify funds or let the check bounce for all I care, but this is YOUR check, not mine. This has nothing to do with me having an account.
“We are not a check cashing place.”
W-w-what?
I fucking lost it. I am honestly surprised I didn’t end up in jail that day. The worst part is, because I was getting riled, some supervisor or manager came by and just stood there behind the teller, not intervening as this jerk failed to understand that there was nothing in the Uniform Commercial Code preventing them from honoring the check THEY issued.
In the end I couldn’t do anything except sling expletives.
Fuck your policy.
Hell, our entire system is built on exceptions. Murder is bad. Really shouldn’t be out there doing homicide. Self defense? War? Mental defect? Exceptions. Lots of laws out there. Have money? Political power? Nepotism? Bloodline? Good looks? Exceptions. Shit. The entire legal system is built on extenuating circumstances.
They say it’s only illegal if you get caught, but really, it’s only once you get convicted. Cops give warnings all the time. Everyone knows that people are breaking rules every day. There are too many of them to keep track. Unless the infraction is causing serious trouble it doesn’t even matter. When it all boils down, most people don’t want to have to play disciplinarian.
They would rather just get back to staring at their phone.
Unless they are psycho.
Okay. Let me be objective. So you are a rule follower. I am not mad at you for it. Games are not fun unless they are fair and what makes them fair are rules. Rules keep society from collapsing. I am all for rules, but I am also for you keeping your nose out of my business.
Lighten up.
You know what is awesome?
When someone breaks the rules to get you the homie hookup. We all enjoy cutting through the red tape or having someone grease the wheels for us. It’s like a tiny moment of fame in our otherwise anonymous lives. People love it when someone makes an exception for them.
Makes them feel special.
You know what is not awesome?
People who tattle. People who make up new rules because they are losing the game. Having to constantly walk on egg shells because someone is making up rules on the fly just to have a reason to be upset. Expecting that everyone else should think and act exactly like they do.
Not awesome at all.
I should go home and figure out what I am going to do with my day. I know it isn’t going to involve sleep or anything productive. At least if I am in my house I won’t be actively violating someone’s idyllic fantasy of what life should be. Of course there might be a weed growing somewhere over 9” tall, violating city ordinance.
At least I don’t live under the thumb of an HOA.
shudder