The second most pressing concern is my financial health. Given the statistics, I think this is a concern for most. Incomes are low, prices are high, investments are a shit show, and retirement is in crisis. Whatever the geopolitical externalities setting the temperature of this pool of sludge we are all forced to tread in, I can only focus on what I can control.
Again, the positives. I have a job, and I have the skills to get a better job. My income is stable and covers enough to not make the situation desperate. I have a house with a bit of equity that likely will continue to increase in value. My credit score is high and will improve very soon when the bankruptcy falls off. I have debt but it is not crippling, and when all is said and done I have the knowledge to navigate my situation.
As for the bad, this shit gets ugly in a hurry when you get up close to it. In order to make the numbers work, I have stripped everything out of the budget. No streaming service accounts. No subscriptions of any kind. I am on the cheapest internet plan in my area. My phone is the Fred Flintstone 3000 on the most bare bones plan I could find.
My life is no frills.
I wouldn’t even have a phone if I didn’t need it for work and a bank that refuses to let me log in without it.
Fucking savages.
I drive a 28 year old Jeep so my car insurance and registration fees are super low. Despite the poor mileage, I rarely drive so gasoline costs are manageable. I spend barely any money on my wardrobe or on eating out, and the kids no longer get birthday parties or holiday gifts. I put that onus on their momma.
Child support that actually goes to the childrens.
I don’t see a dime.
I do have pet expenses, but that is just food and the occasional bag of treats. I could likely shave a dollar or three off trash service, but I haven’t checked in a while.
Granted smoking is an expensive habit that I need to end, and I do go out for coffee more than I should. These vices are on the chopping block and will free up about $3-350 a month. This is no small amount and when you don’t spend and instead pay balances down, it translates into a $700 reduction in debt every month.
Speaking of, when I ignore the mortgage I am looking at a total consumer debt of $54,000 and change. That seems like a lot but funnily enough it is below the national average. The bulk of that balance is wrapped up in a solar loan at a near zero interest rate, and there is an opportunity there to cancel due to the product not living up to the contractual promise. It is on my list to see if I can get out of it.
The damaging bit is the $10,000 in credit card debt I amassed when I was unemployed. The rest is a car loan for my daughter which she might assume at some point but in the meantime I am happy to pay for that while she is in school.
I round the debt up because there is always a series of payments in the pipeline and days of interest accruing. I never really know the exact number but I know the relative balances of everything and the interest rates on them. I don’t really follow the Ramsay method or the waterfall method. I basically move money around when I can and according to what the math shows in relation to the feels.
The company I work for was recently purchased and with that change came a difference in pay and frequency. I got a small bump but the pay dates went from bimonthly to every two weeks. This essentially dropped my monthly income in favor of bi-yearly windfalls so I need to rejigger the budget entirely.
No time like the present.
My total payment obligation with no additional spending is hovering around $3150 a month. This is just account and debt management. If I want to eat, smoke, get gas in my car, buy laundry detergent, get dog food, or otherwise engage with the world, those costs are coming out of what remains. What remains is $118 which doesn’t cover anything. I will see that “extra” paycheck come January but I will have amassed an additional $5000 in credit card debt by then at least.
Robbing Peter to pay Paul.
My future self is fairly upset with current me.
What can I say? I am a real asshole sometimes.
I already drained my 401K in order to keep the house. I have nothing left to tap outside of my equity so that is where I need to look. Some financial gurus would suggest selling the house and renting, but I would like to see them try to find me a 3 bedroom option that accepts pets, isn’t in the ghetto, for a payment less than I am paying for my mortgage. Given I got in before interest rates decided to get all gropey, I don’t see that tactic as viable.
Debt consolidation loans are a horrible idea, but I need to stop the bleeding. $400 a month goes toward interest every month so there is some math that makes sense in terms of a HELOC. I also need to do a couple of home repairs so if I can get that math to work out I may be able to rectify some issues with the house and get the debt paid off while reducing monthly outgo and keeping the cost within range of what I am already paying.
Moving money around again at the expense of the only asset I have.
Not ideal, but neither is what I am fucking around with already.
For the most part I am just buying time. I am partially locked into my situation because of the kids, but that scenario is changing. Opportunities with my new employer should arise but I am not sure what the timing looks like. The scheduling conflicts preventing me from getting a second job or looking for a new one have lifted so those options are on the table.
Regardless, I am going to have to attack this equation from both sides.
That is, of course, assuming I will not be blessed with a winning billion dollar lottery ticket.
C’mon white trash retirement plan!
The goals here are lofty. Percentages of spending reduction, hard debt reduction amounts, income increase totals. Not a lot of heavy lifting, but a lot of little tasks dependent on dates and constant prayer that no emergencies befall me. I am on an ever thinning tightrope with no net, so the next steps I take really do have some severe consequences.
Now, I could sell everything, leave the kids to fend for themselves, call every company I owe and negotiate a settlement and basically pull the pin on the credit score grenade. I could sell plasma or take on three jobs, and work myself to death just to live another day. I could say fuck it and move to California and join the nation of homeless and fent myself into oblivion. I could also set fire to a data center and go to prison.
There are options.
Instead I will leverage patience and chip away at the problem. I will find ways to spend less and make more. I will likely never get my retirement in check, but maybe the government won’t steal my social security in order to make more bombs. That’s a tomorrow problem. Today I don’t really have a problem other than a bunch of fake money I owe to a bunch of banking conglomerates that don’t really need it.
Funny thing is, if the dollar keeps decreasing in value, the debt I owe decreases in value as well.
Don’t mind me as I secretly wish for hyperinflation.
There is potential to get a better paying job where I would have an annoying commute if I wanted to fast forward my future. I could try to network and talk about uninteresting things with uninteresting people to weasel my way into something. I could try to sell my soul and write articles about how shocked you will be once you see the top ten most incredible celebrity transformations or whatever.
I just have to choose which plate of shit to start eating.
Luckily I grew up poor so I know how to live poor. It isn’t irritating to lack. I feel no panic at the thought of losing another house or setting fire to my financial reputation. I am getting a little too old to be playing these games, but I still have the skills to play them.
I really wish I could get paid to talk shit though.
I am kind of great at it.